NEVER AGAIN

 In August 2008, I was contracted for a wedding. I drove out of my house and when I got to the main road, there was heavy traffic.

I went back home, dropped the car, crossed the express road and took a cab.

The journey was going well until my phone started ringing.

Reception was about to start and where was I? Still quite far!

Got out of the cab and hailed a bike which took me to a certain extent till he could go no longer and then I hailed another bike. I got to the venue and was shocked to find that the parents had been called to the high table and couple was dancing in.

I ran to my place on stage and took the microphone from whoever…I can’t remember.

Then I quickly asked for the guest list for recognition and I was given two full sheets of paper and once the couple were settled, I began to announce names …I can’t even remember if opening prayer had been said.

 I was late and unprepared …it had never happened before and I didn’t know what exactly had gone wrong this time. Did they run out of church? Was the couple allergic to pictures? They didn’t wed in the hall did they?

There was no time to analyze as I kept reeling out the names but just then Mr. Chairman…who I later found out was an ex-commissioner took the microphone from me and announced in Yoruba that he would take over from me. He went on to ask the crowd if I was sure I knew what I was doing.

 How could I be recognizing the presence of people when I had failed to recognize the presence of an ex vice president…..did you say WHAT?

Yep! I cringe as I write it myself because that’s basic compere 101.

I was mortified, wanted the ground to open up and swallow me but the ground was on vacation from swallowing people that day.

Anyway the dignitaries at that wedding were so many….ex-governors, ex- presidential and gubernatorial aspirants, commissioners… just name it.

Chairman took over and sorted all that out, I didn’t handle much again till much later during the program and at the end of the event, I ran away faster than you could say honeymoon.

The couple didn’t care, they were actually overwhelmed by the whole wedding palaver but I was disappointed in myself.

 If I had come earlier it would not have been so.

 I would have noticed the persons there, I would have been alert, I would have bonded with Mr. Chairman and we would have worked as a team.

 I would have bla bla bla bla….all water under the bridge because I came late…genuine reason or NOT! *sigh*

That was the day I made a firm resolve NEVER AGAIN to arrive late to an event I had been contracted for even if it meant waiting for everyone to arrive. I also learnt that day to make it a point of duty to ask specifically if there were any dignitaries coming, ask for people’s titles and profiles and study the guest list better than I studied for Biochemistry in UNIBEN (story for another day).

I have since handled weddings and events with high profile guests, high net-worth individuals and government officials.

 Indeed on December 31^st 2011, I handled a wedding where an ex-president was the chairman and several ex-government officials were also in attendance. Their former offices were so sensitive I had to warn myself to resist the urge to crack some temptingly obvious but sensitive jokes… for example the ex director general of PHCN was there on the high table….aha! I had so much to say but I held my tongue….Lol! But they all came over after the event to say I did a great Job.

 I would have taken a picture with Mr. President oh but he came late and I was still suffering from Photophobyapathy and celebphobathy that time: these are two diseases which plagued me for so many years but Hallelujah, God delivered me in January 2012 …full gist about the diseases and symptoms in another entry but for now, this is the story of my worst experience on this job I love so much and how it has made me better at it.  

Can you relate? If so, do share please.