I don tire for Lagos traffic Oh

If I had my way brethren and brethresses, I will pack out of Lagos.... because the amount of time spent sitting down in Lagos traffic, one would have reached Onitsha and done a few deals here and there, turned well water to pure water and generally cooked a pot of full blown "edikinikan" Calabar people soup....Haba!

 But let me ask first, who are all these people on Lagos roads, are they all human beings?

I have heard the rumours that some are spirits and though I didn’t believe at first but I think I have actually spotted some cars moving in traffic without drivers before ....then I woke up sha.

Then the containers oooooo....ibo kwenu!

My people import and export all things from chaff to chassis! Indeed behind every successful ibo man there are plenty containers.

....* singing and waving yahozee style* ....everything na Container! Container!

 This is not a bad thing, in fact this is one of the things that has  helped Nigerians to at least have soap to bathe and bleaching cream to tone.....indeed if not for ibo people, Nigerians would have looked and smelled like monkeys. (If you doubt me, trace how the cosmetics and toiletries you are using got to your house) but the tragedy is in the movement of the containers Oh!

The containers on monster trailers...with monster drivers ...speeding like Michael Schumacher (pronounced as Michael school umuaka).

Why my people why????

.....Please why would a trailer driver who knows nothing is holding down  his “passenger” container plus his brakes are not in the best of conditions, why should this trailer driver with  his no shirt condition and red eyes be speeding on Lagos pot-hole embedded roads? Why?

 Please I want to appeal to all well meaning future gubernatorial candidates of the other 35 states of Nigeria reading me now....please when you enter into the good office try to do your state well.

Sign off on good roads first, then refurbish one or two major schools to at least United Nations standard...Upgrade a major general hospital or two ...put infrastructure down...make your state habitable...make it a mini Lagos so that small businesses can thrive there.

 Invite corporates and multi nationals to set up mini branch offices thus providing employment so that some of your people can relocate from Lagos and go and stay in their great grandfathers’ houses for free while eating fresh vegetables and fruits from the farm at the backyard.

So they can live longer, stop falling sick every day, leave the hustle, bustle and in some cases highly un-dignifying conditions in Lagos and go and live like kings in their mother or father towns.

People are suffering in Lagos for nothing....kai!

 Then when they all go.... Lagos traffic can be far lighter and a certain compere can arrive on time and in style to her appointments with her clients in shining armour. Kinjiko?...*response is ko ko*