Whether you are a photographer, caterer, decorator, DJ etc
as far as you are in the event business, you are going to meet, have met or are
presently in talks with these clients and you better be prepared for the drama
ahead when you meet them.
The trick is to read
them right from day ONE and try to
proactively be ahead of them at all times or else you are going to go
crazy or lose the privilege of their referral for nothing...Lol!
Enjoy
1.
The Slates:
I secretly call these guys the slates because they truly remind me of blank
Slates. They honestly do not have a plan or clue about how they want things to
run and just leave it to you the vendor to decide. They usually have the money
to pay but may or may not have sat down to draw up a budget. Heck they have not
sat down to draw up a plan. Some are not even clear on what exactly it is that
you do but they heard you offer that service and it is a “nice to have” at
their party so they call you and haggle a bit and let you do your thing once
they are satisfied with the figure. The up side about such clients is that you
can try new things with them i.e. give your usual service and then go the “extra”
mile or try out the new idea or skill you have been itching to try. If they end
up enjoying your service(s) they can become your biggest fans and publicists
because they are like children who just made a new discovery and they would
tell anyone who cares to listen about you and your fantastic service. The down
side is that the suspense during preparation can be frustrating because their
level of involvement can be quite low. Sometimes you might call and call and
call and they won’t pick your calls, they respond to texts late if at all and
generally don’t treat you as a critical resource. For such people, get them to
pay a commitment fee or sign a one page contract or something so you are sure
you have got the job, then ask them to give you someone to liaise with if you
have questions while preparing and generally don’t sweat the small stuff. Give
your best and something extra because like I said if they are happy...you will
be happy eventually.
2.
The Drawers
: They are a bit like the Slates- blank at first but as they catch on, you
begin to feel you are suddenly acting a script in your very own nightmare because
they begin to do research and dig up all sorts of information about what you do-
both ancient and modern ....and you know what that means...even things you have
not heard of or thought about begin to crawl out. These people may not have the
money to pay but they want the best by faith. So they send you on errands, they
keep changing their minds, they ask questions upon questions sometimes secretly
seeking how they can cut corners...get the value of 1M for maybe 50k. You need
to be patient with these people and be confident in your work. Always keep records
properly and be firm or else any small shift and story will enter for your
payment. So be firm, always clarify on expectations and SHINE YOUR EYE. If you can’t
deliver on something do not promise that you can to avoid issues in future. These
people refer you easily as well but they always have a comment attached of even
the slightest negative thing that went wrong. “ The boy is good sha but he can
come late for meetings”....”Their food is sweet sha but their servers didn’t cover
their hair”....Lol!
3.
The
Khardasians: I am tempted to call this people money miss road ....but I
wont because honestly they are kinda every business man’s dream client. They
have the money to spend and they will not be satisfied with suggestions of low
budget or cheaper options. They have determined to close the town with their
party and they will not be held back. If its decor ....they want floral mixed
with lights and drapes and bubbles and balloons..the full works. They hire male
Compere, female Compere and 3 comedians, venue is the biggest hotel in town with
catering and they will still bring a big caterer from outside the hotel to add
to the menu and they will still pay corkage. Too Much MONEY!!!! They have a
point to make and by all means the point will be made oh. At whatever cost. And
they won’t let you rest oh...every time your phone will be ringing as they add
to the brief and keep warning you not to mess the event up...Lol!.They look at
parties and imagine the cost is in millions and they run with it. Note that
they may not always be the wealthiest persons in society. They may even borrow
to meet all these expectations they have of themselves or maybe owe some
hundreds of thousands at the end of the day and begin to dodge.... but who cares. This group of people are stingy
with publicity. If you are going for this kind of event, carry ya own pull up
banner, tie up banner, flag etc. Do your own publicity there because they will
not go out of their way to recommend you except there is something in it for
them at the end of the day or except someone actually asks them to recommend a
vendor (in some cases they would claim not to remember who did the job sef). Quote
me.
However since they were trying to make a point, they’d
probably invite the crème de la crème of society (at least in their own eyes)
and so if you carry your own advert with you those people will see you clearly
and if you do a good job, it will be worth it eventually. Oh please try and get
at least 80% payment out of these people before the event and whatever happens
keep your cool...repeat after me ..The customer is always right...Now smile
widely for the camera...Good!.
4.
Baby
Client: These people are not the ones funding the event even though they
are the known celebrants. If you like bring all the ideas in your arsenal, go
to the moon and back and let them get as excited as a growing toddler with your
ideas....if the true “sponsor” of the parry don’t like ya face, ya smile, ya
smell or ya name...NOTHING FOR YOU!!! So once you even suspect this is the case....bros/sis...find
the sponsor somehow and make him or her happy. Take my case for instance as a Compere.....if
the funder wants IK and the celebrant wants me..this is what will happen :either
they cancel me last minute after I have made my outfit, my hair, my nails, my
teeth and my eyelashes (ladies you know how we do naaa) OR they will hire me
and I will be useless to myself and my generation that day because the funder
will pay IK and empower Ik to run things and I will be rendered redundant and
my baby client will not be able to do much because honestly he/she didn’t pay a
dime. The guests couldn’t care less about him/ her... they came because of the “sponsor”
who could be the parent, sugar daddy, honey mummy or CEO. So my dear “ Mr. I’mtryingtomakemoney
inthiseventbusinessofathing someborri”.....Find who is really paying the bills
and see how you can win their very heart so you can smile to the bank and have
a fulfilling outing come d-day.
5.
Whatever
my special adviser says: There are these other clients who have money, they
are above 18 so they are adults, they are also the actual celebrants..... everything
looks fine on the outside but when you look again, you will find that they are
not really in charge of the decision making process. Not because they are not empowered
to but because for some reason, there is this wife, girlfriend, boyfriend,
friend, aunty, cousin, whoever whatever that is advising them. Telling them
that you are not the reigning caterer, that someone else they know takes better
pictures, that one DJ can play better music etc....Be afraid, be very afraid
because this adviser can make or mar ya plans. It is either they remove the
entire cake from your mouth or they ensure that other vendor at the back of
their mind shares your cake with you and in some extreme cases they take a
large chunk with them. I can’t count the number of times this thing has happened
to so many people I know. To overcome this situation, you don’t need a prophet
to tell you to win that friend over, possibly get to know what line of business
he or she is in and find a bridge to connect with him or her or else......bush
meat will cash the hunter..Lol!
6.
DIY Client ...Hmmmm!!! This client....You will
just keep asking yourself....”why did he or she hire me if they know they could
handle this job themselves”? DIY stands for Do It Yourself. They hire you but if you take any pride in your work
you will be offended because they practically push you out of the moving train
and take over your role. In extreme cases at the end of the day they will tell
you that they were not satisfied with your work after all they did everything
themselves so they aint gonna give you ya balance cheii!!! Breathe in...Breathe
out...Take it easy...Man shall not live by bread alone, forgive them. What you
need to do is be proactive, set boundaries. Once contracted have rules and
please know your onions. Don’t allow for any kind of slack on your part. DO not
allow them approach the vehicle at alllll else they will take over... Lol!
7.
The Scientists.... I fear these ones oh but
sometimes, on a good day they are worth working with because they make you come
out better...hmmm! These kind of clients always want something new, different,
never been done before. They want you to think outside the box...farrrrrr
outside the box..Infact set the box on fire and re invent the wheel but this
time make it a triangle......Ah! apologies in advance if you get this kind of
client because you fit no dey sleep...Lol! .....Payment? ...They usually have
money to pay but the kind of African magic they want to see......you are the
one that might return the money to them . Some of these kind of clients will
now line up several vendors offering the same service and make them start
somersaulting with ideas and you can spend so much money trying to impress them
with samples and demonstrations. In the end it might be worth it if their
experiment works out and people see your innovation with them and start patronizing
you but they also will not allow the
world drink water because they will tell even the rats in their area that they were
the ones who pushed you to get that
innovation. My dear the important thing is that you got the job and you got
your money so keep your eyes on the ball and ignore everything else...Lol!
P.S did you know Lol! Is now taught in schools as
part of the list of punctuation marks in the English language?.....Just kidding....
Lol!....can’t help myself now I’m really laughing out loud....this Chigo is
something else...smh!
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